Mike Sorrentino - The Situation[HMG] — It’s Monday, so it must be time for the week’s first publicity stunt by the dependable rabble at ‘Jersey Shore.’ And today’s engaging fable concerns Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino and the toxic twin-set that resembled his parents.

Mike’s parents, 56-year old Frank, and Linda, 54, filed for divorce in New Jersey in 2004, and the court documents are an endless catalog of alleged violence, accusations and threats.

Among stories of beatings, screaming and threats is one charming tale that claims Frank once threatened to cut Linda ‘into pieces,’ while she apparently told him she’d be happy to “find someone else to have sex with.”

“The Sorrentinos were the most dysfunctional family I ever met!” a family friend told the Enquirer. “Mike’s father had a bad temper and the mom had a sharp tongue. When they butted heads, they were explosive.”

Currently sharing the limelight on ‘Dancing with the Stars,’ Mike and his two brothers, Frank III, 35, and Marc, 31, and their sister, Melissa, 23. were apparently once told by their dad that he “wanted to see the expression on their mother’s face when he stabbed her and cut her into pieces,” according to Linda’s testimony in the papers.

“Frank has constantly beaten and battered Linda to the point where she believed the beatings were part of her life,” she later claims.

But Frank also shares some bad memories – His contribution includes the revealing detail that Linda once ‘broke his nose’ by smashing him in the face with her shoe.

This dysfunctional duo are a long way from the Bradys…but they’re pure gold for ratings. Do you guys believe their tales? Leave a comment and let’s get your reviews….

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Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino’s parents in ugly divorce