Want to look like Lady Gaga?

That’s probably not gonna happen, unless you want to wear dresses made of meat, hatch from ornate eggs or start hermaphrodite rumors about yourself.

Just the same, in a new People feature, the superstar opens up about her beauty routines, which are surprisingly normal when you consider the source.

Wait … you mean Lady Gaga washes her face with Ivory soap and brushes her teeth before bed? You’ve GOT to be kidding. Where has she been all our lives?!

Lady Gaga Style

This isn’t to say Gaga’s beauty practices are entirely conventional.

Asked how many nights per week she goes to bed wearing makeup, she replies, “Seven. That is not good for your skin, but I’m blessed with good genes.”

Something that is good for her skin, and everyone’s, is the sunblock that she brings everywhere: “I don’t tan my face because it’s bad for wrinkles,” she adds.

Above all, Gaga – whose favorite fragrances growing up were Versace Baby Rose Jeans and Revlon’s Jean Nat